Last night I was sound asleep when my treasure sleeping beside me woke me up needing water.
Then I was awake for quite a long time in the middle of the night.
Since giving up my daily evening dose of Pinot Gris this has become less of a regular occurrence.
But there I was in a familiar old place… trying to get to sleep, churning stuff over … ya, de ya.
And I remembered that today was the super moon so I figured my condition might have something to do with that… yes a bit of a relief (whatever was going on it was bigger than me!!)
Then I pondered how this evening is a good time to do a ritual around letting go…
I’ve not been a fan of letting go… probably because I am more of a ” holding on to stuff even though I wish I could let go” type!!
And I’ve also, for a long time now, figured that letting go is a super big process and it’s never going to happen by just saying we are letting go… and we usually want to let go because there is something going on inside us that we want to get rid of rather than accept and love… ( anyway that is another post!!)
As I tossed and turned I realised I was trying to somehow shift my condition, my state.
And instead I needed compassion for myself.
“Of course sweetheart you want to find a solution to this.. of course you want to get to sleep. “
” Everyone feels like this when they can’t sleep, there must be thousands of people in Adelaide alone not sleeping tonight.
And somehow, when I settled I understood that give or take a few tweaks here and there, I am unlikely to end up being much different to how I already am!
Realisations like this occur over and over for me…Same realisation, same understanding but at a deeper embedded layer each time.
So my letting go is going to be “I let go of trying to be different to what I already am, I let go of struggling with my struggle”. I accept what arises for me with love, even the struggle and even wanting to change it”.
And I wish the same for you.