Latest research is now showing us that people with a tendency to control others seem to have a particular virus that has, in part, similar ways of working as the COVID-19 causing Coronavirus. Researchers have called it CONTROLLER VIRUS -19. Its primary affect is to create dysfunctional relationships.

If you are struggling to find autonomy from a person in your life who tries to manipulate you or you find yourself manipulating and controlling your voice and actions to appease another, the following guidelines may be useful.

1. Like COVID-19 once the virus is inside the host, it inserts into their DNA. This affects the host’s thinking process making them susceptible to being controlled by the virus without even realising it is happening (hence the name).

2. It needs a host to survive and replicate. Without a host it dies out.

3. The best way to avoid being infected (and becoming a host) is to keep your distance and avoid any contact with it whatsoever. This is called the “ no contact “ rule and includes minimising phone calls, messages and emails and of course no face to face contact.

4. The power of the controller virus means the above no contact rule can feel very challenging to implement.

5. A strong emotional immune system is one way you can keep yourself well even if you come into contact with it. This means your body fights the virus, digests it and you then develop antibodies keeping you safe from it in the future.

6. Making sure you stay emotionally disinfected from self doubt is important. Although unlike Covid-19, hand washing seems to have little effect on minimising the likelihood of being infected.

7. If you do not follow the guidelines and become infected, your symptoms may appear similar to the regular emotional flu.  Although not life threatening there is also the chance that it can become a chronic condition.

8. Symptoms of infection.


Chest pain



Low mood

Low energy

A feeling of powerlessness



And rage often directed to self or the other but rarely transfering to clear boundaries that keep you safe from emotional harm.

9. If any of these symptoms occur after coming in contact with the controller virus it is important to  seek support straight away.

10. Current treatment includes, tender loving care of one’s emotional self, bonding with hurt inner child parts, being around people who can reflect your wholeness and sticking with the no contact rule (refer to point 3).

11. With appropriate self care and support most people will make a full recovery from the controller virus, will go on to have satisfying relationships and lead fulfilling lives.